- Me with romantic interest: Hi, how've you been lately? How's that project you're working on? Yeah? I'd love to see sometime, dude! How's the family? Good, good. Well, I'll talk to you later! Yeah we definitely need to hang out more often. Hopefully see you soon! :)
- Me with platonic friend: YOU GORGEOUS CREATURE HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE LAST I SAW YOU? HOW I'VE MISSED YOUR LUCID DIAMOND EYES, UGH I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECTLY SCULPTED, ARE YOU AN ANGEL MADE OF MARBLE LET'S GET MARRIED.
what did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash?
pigs are commonly known for rolling around in dirt, but there’s a reason for this. Pigs skin is very sensitive, the harshness of their environment can result in rashes and often sunburns. Pigs use mud to help relieve pain and protect their skin. Since piglets are even more delicate, mother pigs will often roll their pigs in mud right after birth.
NO THEY GIVE THEM OINKMENT
- me: *sick*
- me: *goes on the computer*
- parents: OH I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE ON THE COMPUTER IT MEANS THAT YOU'RE PERFECTLY 100% BETTER NOW GO TO SCHOOL AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND GET MARRIED AND DIE